Ever since the days of yore – and by yore, we mean Tiger Beat and J14 – we have been staring at photos on the Backstreet Boys here, there and everywhere. We put them on our walls, we put them in frames, we put them on pillows and slept with them…
…Oh you didn’t? Ok, liar.
The point is that, for 24 years, we’ve been watching the Boys pose for photos and we’ve observed a few things. A few things that hardly ever change and maybe we have a few questions. Just like they say “Hi, we’re the Backstreet Boys” in perfect unison, they also fall together in a photo like BSB Tetris blocks. Allow us to point a few things out for you!
1. Tall Ones In The Center, Please.
The standard Backstreet pose usually begins with the 6 Foot And Over club in the center and the other Boys (Howie, Brian and AJ) mixing it up to either side. Sometimes the giants get a Boy in between them if they’re feeling especially frisky that day. Mark our words, Kevin and Nick will never flank the ends on purpose.
We have to say though, we appreciate the effort for aesthetic. It helps our eyes flow…or something.
2. Bent-Legged Kevin Richardson.
Kevin was the first member of Six Foot And Over and we assume that’s where he picked up his bent knee habit. Back in ’93, he was literally the hulk over the tiny, pubescent Backstreeters, so we have no doubt that he might have bent to shrink. Check photos – Kevin is almost always guilty of a bent-knee-lean-back-like-a-G pose.
Or it could just be something he picked up from being a supermodel.
We’re not kidding – Check #3.
3. SOMEONE Will Always Have A Massive Arm Span.
Someone snaps a photo and suddenly, one or more Backstreet Boys have a massive arm span that spread across 5 of them. Haven’t you ever looked at your VIP photo and you weren’t sure whose arm is whose? It’s all those group hugs and reaching at concerts.
Guys, we’ve stretched their arms out like the elastic in old underwear!
4. ….But A Short Attention Span.
Finding a photo with all five Backstreet Boys looking in the same direction on a red carpet or a candid-but-posed pose is like finding a unicorn. How many times have you uttered, “Aw man! This would be a great picture if ___ wasn’t looking the wrong way”? Lots.
3 year olds.
5. The Point.
Kevin, Brian, Nick, AJ and Howie point so much that it will make you want to snap their fingers off. Perhaps it’s to remedy #4 (not working) or perhaps it’s just a cool-boyband move, but whatever it is, you can almost always expect those hands to creep up and out.
Let’s be real, if it’s not Kevin doing it, none of the others are listening anyway.
6. Mixed Emotions.
Even harder than nailing the one direction (HA!) is getting every Backstreet Boy to look like they are feeling the same emotions at the same time. It’s a beautiful day when every Boy looks like they’re having a good time. Seriously guys, you can smolder or you can smile, we’re cool with both… but decide beforehand. Decide if it’s a wedding or a funeral or sexytime.
This also goes for VIP photos. If you have something you want everyone to do…good luck. There’s usually one that didn’t hear you (…Howie).
7. There’s Always That One…
This is kind of the same as #6, but this is the moment when you find the PERFECT photo…
…Every Backstreet Boy has it goin’ on…
Except ONE. OF. THEM.
WHY, GOD, WHY?!
And it’s usually the least croppable. #BackstreetWorldProblems
8. We’re Always Going To Think It’s The Best One Ever.
Although we may observe the above items in photos, we never get a new photo of the Backstreet Boys and think it’s not better than the last. Kind of like parents. THOSE ARE OUR BABIES, Y’ALL. Wanna see wallet size pics? We got ’em! Bent leg, eagle arms, weird emotions and all.