It’s been a while since I’ve done a “Thoughts We Had..” post. So, in honor of the Backstreet Boys’ upcoming ‘Larger Than Life’ Las Vegas stint, we thought we’d throw it back to a classic Joseph Kahn-created video. Follow us, won’t you?
2. Is that a spaceship or a GIANT flying bug? Like, the kind you eat on Survivor…
3. January 1st? So THIS is how the Backstreet Boys spent New Year’s Eve in the 90s.
4. AH! The cockroach spaceship plays old school Backstreet music! Where does one rent this contraption?
5. For anyone counting, this spaceship is 30 seconds long. You know what they say. The bigger the spaceship….
….The more the Backstreet Boys, duh.
6. Oh, now that I see the back of it, it might be a claw. Is this whole video set inside a claw game?
7. WOAH! BACKSTREET BOYS in shiny Millennium letters. In case you forgot.
8. Oh, the year 3000. So we’re only 983 years away from seeing if this is what really happens. And getting our Backstreet Boys-playing claw cockroach spaceship thing.
9. OH MY GOD SOMEONE SARAN WRAPPED THE BACKSTREET BOYS!
10. And hooked them up. What do these hooks do?
11. What is this fancy robot who seems to lord over the saran-wrapped boys?
12. Brian’s face waking up is exactly my face watching this.
13. AJ wakes up screaming in song. Of course he does.
14. Waaiiiiittt a minute. Does this fancy bot have Brian’s face?
15. Remember when Brian had hair that could blow back? Now you do.
16. How did he get un-saran wrapped?
17. What…is on Brian’s hands?
18. I’m not even going to ask why he’s…air surfing?
19. Of course Kevin is in a cockpit shooting things and running this show. Typical.
20. Think Nick still has his yellow plastic robot suit? Picture him walking around his house in it.
21. Nick essentially can’t move in this plastic, but the more he can’t move, the more his hair and eyebrows do. Take notice.
22. I’m imagining these digital robots are actually the guys from NSYNC trying to be better.
23. Is Howie under water? Are we?
24. AJ has really nice teeth.
25. Of course AJ is attached to tentacles. I won’t go any further.
26. Kevin has always done the squiggliest things with his neck. I wish I had a neck like Kevin Richardson’s.
27. Howie would be a really pretty mermaid probably.
28. I would seriously pay money to see Nick back in this suit.
29. Is Kevin trying to save the world……or kill a fly?
30. Oh, the fly moved into Brian’s airboard zone.
31. Brian’s outfit really makes me crave condiments.
32. Did his ball just turn into a girl or is that who he’s playing with? Was she saran wrapped too?
33. WHERE ARE THESE GIRLS COMING FROM?
34. Or is that just Howie in drag?
35. Or did she eat Howie?
37. The girl tried to eat Brian.
38. Why has anyone never called Kevin Captain? Kaptain. Let’s start that.
39. Kevin sings and saves the world. Apparently Brian and Howie can not.
40. Brian’s a regular little video game character, guys. Briugi? Broshi?
41. Why did Howie’s underwater room turn into a fully clothed orgy?
42. Ah! The tentacles set AJ free and he’s now The Terminator! Wonder if Kevin knows?
43. Kevin doesn’t know.
44. Wait. This just got REALLY confused. Are they being sucked up? Are they sucking up? Why is AJ back on the tentacles? Is that Howie’s water?
45. Aw snap! Someone took out Nick’s batteries!
46. Whaaaattt happened to Kevin’s face? That fly must have been the devil.
47. When things get super intense, THE BACKSTREET BOYS TAKE A DANCE BREAK!
48. [Pause for dance break because if you didn’t learn this dance already, what are you doing with life?]
49. Well, maybe unpause to talk about AJ’s crop top. Who said, yeah AJ, that looks GREAT? Nick?
50. Am I the only one who is OBSESSED with the moment Kevin walks through the dancers like a straight baller and has a look like he’s about to TEAR. THIS. DANCE. UP?! Or as 2016 Kevin would say, “can we get a dance break up in this bitch?” He owns us.
51. THIS DANCE BREAK. WHAT WERE WE BEFORE THIS DANCE BREAK?
52. Pause to pee your pants.
53. Peep Nick Ninja there.
54. Classic Brian’s-hot-face.
55. Kevin also looks like a bird. A balla bird. Duck face before it was cool.
56. World’s blowing up, but Backstreet’s gotta DANCE.
57. BACK TO WORK. Get ‘em, Kaptain Kevin Balla Bird!
58. Alright. I’m lost.
59. KEVIN TURNED INTO A GIRL.
60. Ode to Kevin’s neck.
61. Shout out to Howie’s braids!
62. So basically, the BSB went to dance, girls took over, Boys got saran wrapped again and put back in their boxes.
63. Is saran wrap how we keep the Backstreet Boys forever?
64. I’m bringing saran wrap with me to the next VIP. Don’t worry.
65. If this is what came out of Nick’s brain….welll….that explains a lot.
Can we have Joseph Kahn back? Can we start a fund?