A lot of us have passed the point of going out every Saturday night and waking up every Sunday hungover and not sure who we drunk texted. Some of us have never done that at all…
…but the feeling is a lot like when a Backstreet Boy comes online to tweet.
“WHAT are you even talking about, you lunatic?” -> If this is what you’re saying reading this, just follow me here.
1. When Your Phone Goes Off, You Panic and Your State of Mind Changes Instantly.
You’re having fun. Life is a party. Carefree. Hanging with your friends, chatting at work…
Then it happens.
You’re phone goes off. It’s a Backstreet Boy and he’s tweeting fans. In 2.5 seconds, you are completely toasted. What do you dooo? Why is everything so haazzzyy? What are woorrdds?
2. What Do You Say? Should You Say Anything?
Suddenly, a Backstreet Boy is that ex who is single again or that guy you went on one date with who waited 24 hours to call you again and you can’t even. What do you say? Do you ask your friends? Do you involve your friends? WHO CAN MAKE THESE POTENTIALLY LIFE CHANGING DECISIONS WHEN YOUR BACKSTREET DRUNK?! Eggplant emoji?
3. Wait. Did That Make Sense?
You’re tweeting so fast that the tweets look like a literal drunk tweet. What was a sweet tweet is now pretty offensive because TWITTER HAS NO EDIT BUTTON (but neither do your ducking texts)! Deleting this tweet means losing your place in the “Seen” line.
Is it too late to take it back?
Is KevinHowieBrianAJNick really going to think you’re drunk?
Why is life so hard?
4. WHY CAN’T YOU STOP TWEETING?
Just like you send endless drunk texts to your friends about your failed relationship or the food currently in your fridge, you’re definitely going to do the same thing to a Backstreet Boy. Tomorrow, you’re going to wonder why no one stopped you and who has screenshots of this mess.
5. Your Friends Are Judging You.
You don’t even have to text your friends to say “You are not going to believe what I said last night…”
They’re seeing it live. They’re trying to save you. But refer to #4 – you can’t stop. Unstoppable!
6. Sobering Up.
The Backstreet Boy logs off and suddenly, you are insta-sober. You’re crawling out of your bed, blowing your hair out of your face, and surveying the damage posted on your Twitter profile. Did you REALLY ask him if he likes your socks? Oh my God, did he actually see this? Do you tweet and apologize or…?
This is so embarrassing. Who let you BackstreetDrunk tweet?
7. Erase The Evidence.
Doesn’t matter who saw it. You’re going to pretend it never happened. If it’s brought up in real world, you will deny, deny, DENY.
8. Do It Again.
Because, after all, Backstreet drunk is the best kind of inebriation, right? Go on. Give your friends something to talk about. “Remember that time you told Nick your grandmother was sick and you didn’t even have a grandmother?” It’s okay though. You’ll delete it later.