::UPDATE – March 2019::
Today, I think this needs to be reshared.
I don’t like to harp on things – especially unpleasant things. In general, I think most of us try to turn the negative into positives, but the amount of time we’ve had to think about it lately is honestly appalling.
I hesitated to write anything because I knew I had written something similar before (and I had! That’s why I’m updating THIS post). The constant barrage of hate, assumptions, negativity, and unpleasantries hurled among us, to Backstreet Boys, to their wives, to their friends, to other fans….WHAT THE HELL ARE WE DOING? It’s weighing so heavily on my heart lately and I know it must be others as well — so let’s just talk about it.
We know that the “bad apples” are few and far between, but when hundreds of them gather in a comment section and make it seem okay to say things like people aren’t human, like people aren’t reading, like words aren’t hurting people – it’s a lot.
Even just one poorly worded comment can hurt. One well-meaning assumption or question can hurt. An attempt to defend can blow it up even worse to turn a blemish into a big mess. Where and when does it end?
If you haven’t yet, listen to what Rochelle had to say on the Recovering From Reality podcast today regarding online bullying and unkind words and the effect that they have on people that YOU DON’T KNOW.
The fact that Lauren had to amend a caption on her instagram page last week regarding her miscarriage, the fact that Nick has to block people who make assumptions about his social media posts, or the fact that the Littrells are constantly inundated with comments due to their beliefs….gosh, isn’t that enough to make you sick?
If it’s not, we are not the place for you. Please unfollow us.
Having gotten a taste of the relentless harassment in the last year, it’s debilitating, it’s unhealthy, and we’re sure so many of you can relate.
Trolls are so 2018. Let’s all make an effort to be better, do better, and love a little louder? We certainly want to try harder. ❤
The hate / shade / impolite criticism / unnecessary cruel and unkind words need to stop.
I try to keep personal opinion off of What Happens On The Backstreet and want to maintain a light, meaningful site where everyone feels welcome and each Backstreet Boy is represented fairly. It’s been important to me to bring the fandom together, keep everything updated, and give the fandom a little kick while the Boys are on a break.
However, I feel like the time has come to address an issue that seems to be blowing up even more than usual. The reason I have slowed down on posts is because the amount of hate / criticism being posted daily by fans is unnerving and, quite simply, draining. It’s not only fans spewing unnecessary hate to the Backstreet Boys and their families (which needs to end RIGHT now), but to fellow fans as well.
What is the endgame for those choosing to waste their time writing paragraph-long comments about “what they know”, about who “bullies” who, about who is “hogging” a Backstreet Boy, etc.? Do you really think if you speak about one’s wife and “expose” them in a negative way that you’ll be seen as credible? Furthermore, do you think that’s being a fan? Let’s back up – what are we even doing being so involved in their personal lives?
Yes, we are Backstreet Boys fans. That’s inclusive of their music, events, tour, and group related things. Individually, Kevin, Howie, Brian, AJ, and Nick have shared their lives with us beyond what they have to because they expect us to be adults, as they are. Kristin, Rochelle, Leigh, Leighanne, and Lauren are their wives. Baylee, Mason, Maxwell, Ava, Holden, James, Odin and Lyric are their children. None of them asked to be famous. None of them asked for our opinions on how to live their lives and until they do, no one should concerned about what they’re doing and how they’re doing it. How would you feel if any of the Backstreet Boys or the members of their families commented on your social media posts telling you you’re stupid for how you live, spending money on the things you do, and that your significant other is stupid for marrying you? To those who want to argue and say “____ deserves it” – so what if they do? It’s not affecting your life. Unfollow and forget it. No one needs that. And if you’re really going to argue and do the whole “she/he brought it on themselves” thing and you truly believe that, don’t give anyone fuel for their fire. Simply STOP. Let it stop with you.
Now, hating on your fanmates just because they’ve done things you haven’t, gotten the “attention” you want, or you think they “hate” you? Please. As I’ve said before, the Backstreet Army has proven themselves most effective when banded together. If you have a problem with someone, get to know them. No, you’re not going to like everyone – that’s human nature. However, it does no good for ANYONE to be shady towards anyone else, especially when you don’t know them personally. Let it go. Again, it’s a waste of time. If you really have a problem with someone, say it to them and let it go. No one needs the bad feelings to exist and the world is big enough for everyone. So is the internet. Find your circle and live your life – hate free.
If you really can’t think of anything else to do with your time, here’s a few suggestions:
1. Spread Odd Amounts Of Love.
As easy as it is to spread hate, it’s even easier to spread love. Go through your instagram and post paragraph-long comments complimenting someone you admire. Send out kind tweets to your friends / BSB / others and let them know how you feel about them. Love never gets old and love spreads like wildfire. Love makes people feel a million times better than hate. Love inspires. And nothing is better than random love and kindness. Sprinkle that shit everywhere! Who knows? It could change everything.
If you’ve said things you feel bad about, apologize. It’s never too late.
If you can’t say anything nice, go outside and feed the birds – they’ll really appreciate it.
4. Watch Backstreet Boys Videos.
Maybe you’re throwing shade because you’re sad the Backstreet Boys aren’t doing a whole lot of anything at the moment. We’ve all been there. It’s kind of like being hangry. You know, when you lash out because you’re hungry and no one has fed you. Feed your soul. Watch your Boys. Be glad they’re still together. Be glad you’re not an Nsync fan. There are literally so many things to happy about as a Backstreet fan – why are you so angry?
Bottom Line: Hate less. Love more. Be grateful. Stop giving the Backstreet Boys and their fans a bad name. I know a lot of you reading this are amazing people with incredible hearts. Use them.
Be the change.