It has been happening for years. We have been dealing with it for years. We have been fairly nice about it for years. But it’s been happening more lately and people don’t even know what they’re messing with.
The Backstreet Boys, as a group, formed in 1993 and HAVE NOT DISBANDED since then.
Yes, they’ve been on a short hiatus. Yes, they sometimes take 234 years to record an album and yes, they tour it for 75 years and YES, they ARE still touring. The media, non-fans, and semi-fans don’t realize what they’re messing with everytime they utter the words “when the Backstreet Boys broke up” or “Backstreet Boys are back..”. We hear those words and real BSB fans hulk out into raging beasts. It doesn’t happen all at once though. It’s a process.
1. “Backstreet’s Back!”
This usually comes from the uninformed media who think they’re being cute. While we twitch a little, we tend to send out a small disgruntled tweet, roll our eyes at their lack of research and move on. At least when this is said, our Boys ARE getting press and they ARE back. So we cross our fingers that people get the message this time.
P.S. They never WENT anywhere to be back. We really should just get that tattooed on our foreheads. Yo, BSB, merch idea!
2. “OMG Backstreet Boys Are Touring Again! We Have To Go, Guys!”
Nostalgia fans… the headache of the fandom. These are the people that gave up on the Backstreet Boys after Millennium and decided that since they broke up with them, the band broke up too. Newsflash: THEY STAYED TOGETHER WITHOUT YOUR SUPPORT. At this point, we’re resisting the urge to tell these nostalgia addicts not to come to the show to get drunk and sing in our ear and say things like “OMG THEY HAVE A CRUISE?! Becky, we totally have to go!” We’re literally holding our hands not to punch you.
3. “Wow! The Backstreet Boys are still around? I thought they broke up a long time ago.”
Yes. But you won’t be for much longer. This is usually a question asked to our faces and something we try to explain without clenching our teeth too tight. And don’t you DARE ask this question then walk off in the middle of us telling you every accomplishment they’ve had since you apparently thought they disappeared. We will come after you.
4. “But I Thought That One Guy Left…”
He did leave. And then he came back. This is what happens when you close a book before it’s done and you just assume it’s over. WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?! You don’t just end things where you assume they end.
Now our anger is getting serious. Especially when you combine this statement with the previous question. Stand back, we’re going to explode…
4. “I Wish It Was Still 1999 and Backstreet Boys and NSync Were Still Together…”
Look, we’re really sorry that you chose to like the Backstreet Shadows, er, Nsync, but DO NOT utter this statement in front of us. It’s your lucky day because the Backstreet Boys ARE still together and ARE touring. But maybe it’s not your lucky day since we might have just knocked your front tooth out. Sorry about that. Fan-Hulk.
5. “We Survived The Backstreet Boys Breaking Up.”
Oh really? So you’re a time traveler? BECAUSE THAT HASN’T HAPPENED YET. This statement is most recent because of Zayn leaving One Direction and all the “cool” former boyband aficionados coming out of the woodwork like it isn’t a big deal. First of all, NO ONE in this situation is even breaking up. Second of all, shut up. SHUT. UP. You know NOTHING about the struggle of what it is to be a fan of a band that you constantly have to defend as still being together.
Together. Not BACK together. TOGETHER FOR ALMOST 22 YEARS. Stop being so bitter that your band isn’t.
6. “…Reunion Tour…”
IF by reunion tour you mean, since their tour that they did together two years prior and they’re just reuniting to go back on the road, okay fine. But it’s usually NOT. You can’t reunite when you aren’t un-united. Let us break it down for you. After Millennium, there was Black and Blue (2000), Never Gone (2005), Unbreakable (2007), This Is Us (2009), NKOTBSB (2011), and In A World Like This (2013)…. THAT THEY ARE STILL TOURING THE WORLD TO PROMOTE. Get your heads out of the trend bubble and find your way back to the real music.
Also, do yourself a favor and see “Show Em What You’re Made Of: The Backstreet Boys Movie”… You’ve been missing out.