Now that you know what to get the Backstreet fan in your life, what should you get the actual Backstreet Boy? By gathering data and observing these Boys in their natural habitat, the following are (hypothetical) lists for the special Backstreet Boy in your life. Read them all or play favorites and scroll ahead!
Kevin’s Christmas List:
What do you buy for the man that has it all together? We can think of a few things.
1. A New Jean Jacket – The man has worn the same one since he’s been back with the group. Maybe he should get a darker wash denim. Maybe he should get one that is bedazzled.
2. UK (University of Kentucky) Gear – He tweets about Kentucky sports so much that he should probably be their mascot. Kevin The Wildcat … That can work for us.
3. Sunglasses – This is more for the benefit of the fans. Anyone that has met Kevin Richardson knows that you can not look him directly in the eyes. He’s one of those people that stares you intensely in the eye, while holding your hand, and you will never be the same. I’m not kidding. It’s life changing.
Howie’s Christmas List:
Howie, the laaaaid back one, with his mind on his money and his money on his mind. What do you get the man that looks like he smells like he was gift wrapped in a department store?
1. Alcohol – Anyone that goes on a Backstreet Boys cruise, to a Backstreet Afterparty, or parties with the Boys in general knows that Howie is the secret party animal. Want a good time? Just add vodka.
2. Pranking For Dummies – For Howie …to use on his new pranking bestie, Nick. Howie deserves the last laugh at least once and you’ll have to be on your game. You can do it, StealthNinjaHowie!
3. Blond Hair Dye – It may not be the BEST look for him, but at least people will stop thinking his youngest son belongs to Nick Carter. (Just kidding, we’ll still think it, but blonde Howie could be funny)
Brian’s Christmas List:
For the man who has 20 – 350 Christmas trees and loves Jesus, Brian is hard to nail down to just three things, but let’s try!
1. A New Pair Of Shoes – Obviously he has no NEED for them, but he WILL wear them and they WILL be the biggest thing he wears. And the most colorful. NOTE: Please make sure the shoes are cushioned on the bottom. Air Brian likes to pounce down from high places and prove that white men can indeed jump.
2. A Trampoline – This is for practicing all the aforementioned high jumps. Picture it – Brian climbing a tree in his backyard, jumping down onto the trampoline, and then backflipping into his pool…..while singing. You know you see it.
3. An Endless Supply of Anything Sleeveless – Really? This needs an explanation? HAVE YOU SEEN HIS ARMS?! Yowza! 10 tickets to the gun show, please.
AJ’s Christmas List:
Oh AJ, the extravagant man who has everything, will wear anything, and will do anything – What to buy, what to buy…
1. Hats – As much as we enjoy AJ’s new hair, hats are a staple for this cool dude. The more offensive, the better. Everyone loves a pic with AJ and F*CK written on his hat. I mean, seriously, we do love it.
2. A Replica Of The Central Perk Couch – It’s no secret that AJ loves Friends as much as, well, all of us. Having this piece of history in his house would be the perfect addition to his numerous selfies, which brings us to our next item…
3. A Selfie Stick – It’s a real thing, folks, and it’s exactly what AJ “Selfie King” McLean needs. Imagine how many people/places/things he can fit in one Instagram photo with this device! Also, if he’s planning on more cute babies, we’re going to need the whole McLean clan in one photo!
Nick’s Christmas List
Nick Carter…the frosting on the Backstreet cake. From boats to private jets to an engagement ring for his wife that will blind you, you would think buying for him would be hard. Well, you’re wrong. Mr.Carter and his boy-like charm seem pretty easy to please.
1. An Aquarium – A lover of all things water, we’re sure that Nick would obviously want the most exotic of fish (that he can buy on his own), but you can start with a few big fancy-named goldfish. BONUS: Make it big enough for him to get in. Sounds like a good time.
2. Oats and Wheatgrass – Everyone remembers the demands that Nick made for wheatgrass on an episode of Celebrity Apprentice (before wheatgrass was even cool – WHAT a TRENDSETTER!) and of course, we all remember the Oats-and-Nipples instagram pic from a few months ago. We certainly like a man that knows what he wants and looks sexy while wanting it. GIVE HIM ALL THE SMOOTHIE INGREDIENTS.
3. Super Powers – If anyone has the ability to give Nick super powers, we’re sure that he would be thankful. While he already possesses the skill of sniffing out a fan that might not be paying attention to him and suddenly making himself the point of his/her affection, invisibility would bump up the rewards from his pranking skills. The ability to be in two places at once would also allow him to be home and tour all at once, appeasing everyone in the world. The opportunities are endless..
BONUS: 4. A New Immune System – If Nick stops getting sick all the time, we stop getting sick all the time, and he’ll stop getting sick all the time…….. It’s a cycle, y’all.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO YOU AND YOUR BACKSTREET BOY! May your fandom dreams be merry and bright, and may all your tweets not end in a fight. PEACE.